Germany Berlin Moevenpick Kreuzberg

[zbenye]

Have you seen Expedia's TV ad where they showed an elderly couple who checked into a high-tech hotel and couldn't figure out how to operate things? They weren't kidding.

The Berlin Moevenpick is very modern. Loft-like with a lot of open space. Very colorful walls and carpets. Bathroom enclosed by French glass walls. The sink was a ceramic bowl on top of a marble-like counter. Concealed lighting in the ceiling.

I hated it.

The room was way too small for 4 stars. No sitting space - the queen bed took up most of the room. The sheets felt like paper.

The bathroom was a one-step up to an elevated platform. Folks must have tripped over this step in the darkness of night, so they installed a night light into the step. It was so bright, I had to throw a towel over the step so I could sleep.

The sink (bowl) had its faucet coming out of the counter and over the bowl. There were no handles for hot and cold water; there was a joystick... mounted on the counter outside the bowl. It was very hard to maneuver, someone with wrist or joint problems would not be able to operate it. And because it was outside the sink, your wet hands reaching for it soon made the counter wet all around.

There was a shower stall. No tub. Don't ladies expect to be able to take a bubble bath at a 4-star hotel?

As with all European hotels I've been to, bring with you some soap and shampoo. The hotel only provided all-in-one liquid in the shower. There was a small bar by the sink, but it was so heavily perfumed, it was nauseating and quickly got tossed into the trash can.

The bathroom door was a sliding door that hung off a rail that was suspended some 3 inches away from the wall. That means that there was a wide gap left between the side of the door and the wall, so one could look in or out through it. And there is another reason why we want bathroom doors to close well that involve a sense other than sight. And then that French glass wall of the bathroom... as opaque as it may be, someone in the room could still see where someone else was in the bathroom and pretty much what they were doing there.

Finally, the air conditioner. A 4-star hotel would have an air conditioner, right? Well, it did. But it was restricted to a minimum of 20 degrees Celsius (about 70 Fahrenheit). That's like a sauna when you're supposed to sleep under a hefty down blanket. Went to the front desk to check - is the device in my room faulty? Nope, that's the setting at this hotel to conserve energy. How about a piquet blanket? Nope. What to do? Open the window, she said... Did I say it was a 4-star hotel?

Pulled the down blanket out of the cotton cover and used the cover as a blanket. Couldn't wait for this stay to end.

The location is not terribly thrilling either. Any interesting place requires traveling. Bus number 29 and an S-bahn station are very near. No nearby U-bahn station. No Starbucks.

Wireless Internet available throughout the hotel but at a rate no one should agree to pay: 29 Euro/day. McDonald's at several locations provided free wireless access and I didn't mind dragging my laptop there instead.